Insecurities

The crushing feeling like waves in the sea
They come and go and don't let you be

You'll drown in the feelings before you know
They hold you down and rape you before they go

Insecurities! You can't seem to get away
They'll come and go and don't let you have a say

That woman who left and came and left
She refuses to see that she commits theft

As many times as I've gone through this pain
I can't seem to ever get past the pouring rain

The bitch ruined me but I learned to heal
The bitch comes back and I just heel

I will get passed it one more time
Then she'll come back in my prime

Forgiveness of Self

I forgive you.
Who? Me?
Yes, you.
I didn't apologize for anything.
You don't need to, I forgive you anyway.
I haven't done anything to need your forgiveness.
Oh, but you have. You've silenced yourself and abused your talents.
I have no talents to abuse, I am just me. I do what needs to be done.
You don't do anything but sit and watch. You don't even remember what it's like to participate.
Participate? I do what I need to do.
You don't. Participate in life, share your joy and you love and your happiness.
I'm happy.
Then share it. Rejoin the living. Stop waiting for life. Stop pretending to live. Live.
I'm sorry.
I'm forgiven.
Let go. Let's go.

This is my fight

This is my fight against myself as I try to break from the cage
It's been too long since I've let myself free to fight against this rage

My soul cries out for the last few years it begs to be let out
I don't know if I can let it go or if I'm due for another bout

I used to write because there was a passion to tell my story
I used to write in hopes that one day I might have personal glory

I don't anymore for fear that I'm good or bad or somewhere in between
The fear of success or failure or nothingness is all my hands have seen

Let it be known that it is my right to write whatever I please
If it is good I'll be happy enough but again it will not cease

It's my right to write what I want and if it's bad I'll learn to live
If it's not good I'll be happy enough because maybe I can give

A gift to someone who wants to write and yet doesn't know how
A gift to someone who wants to fight and will not take a bow

I will not bow down to the bad of my past I need to let it free
The girl who was lost yearns to get out, she years for a chance to see

A simple paragraph in a new book I read for a group of women and wine
Has given me the power to start anew, it's given me the hope to shine

A writing prompt has given me permission to write this poem here
I swear to you now, I will not bow, I will not stop, no longer will I fear

If one person reads my story one day and hopes that they can get by
I will have done my deed to the human race, my life will not be a lie