Happy New Year

Today we celebrated Vietnamese New Year. It's also Chinese New Year so I don't feel bad that all day I told people we were celebrating Chinese New Year. It's also called Lunar New Year. You can just feel free to call it what you want.

Basically, the day consisted of chiropractor, Target, McDonald's, nap, Dollar General, decorating, and eating. My back's doing better, I always over spend when The Hubs isn't with me, why do I keep eating crap, why didn't I nap when she napped, why didn't I buy this stuff at Target, why didn't I think of buying this stuff at Target, decorating is fun, and eating is fun even when it's an hour late because the noodles you made to go with the stir fry were disgusting so The Hubs had to make rice instead.

And here's the results:

I found a this template online for some Chinese New Year envelopes and put them together.

I was looking for gold coin chocolates but found these dollar chocolates instead! In China they give kids money in the red envelopes for the new year.

I wrote all of our names on the envelope in Chinese. Gibbie's up top, then mama, the bottom says baba which would be the Chinese equivalent to papa.

The Hubs found these online and I printed them on red card stock. We all decorated them with the gold stars.

Gibbie watched a movie on my laptop through most of the envelope making. It must have been good because she wasn't attempting to help.

Here's my finished product on the mantle. (Side note: I need to find an awesome something to hang over the mantle because it's just so freaking bare!)

I got Gibbie a red balloon at Dollar General and wrote "Happy New Year" with a sharpie just so we could say it was a decoration and worth the dollar.

 She knew what was in the envelope but still acted surprised. Just like me when I know what I'm getting for Valentine's Day/Easter/birthday/Christmas.

So there you have it. When we opened the envelope The Hubs finally told me we were celebrating Vietnamese New Year, not Chinese. Well, the decorations are red and gold for both so I didn't mess it up too badly. The noodles I made for dinner were disgusting. We threw them out and made some really yummy sticky rice instead. Of course rice takes a while so dinner was very late. Now, I'm off to eat my chocolate dollar!

Just One Question

Why is it so hard to go poopoo in the potty?

edit: I meant for Gibbie, not myself.

How Did This Happen

Do you ever look at your life and just ask yourself, "How did I get here? How did this happen?" Luckily, at least for me, I'm thrilled with my life thus far. If you've known me for more than 10 years you know I've had my share of asking, "What the hell did I do in my past life to deserve this?" Lately though, life is good.

I'm watching Gibbie run around the living room singing her version of "Hakuna Matata" which isn't exactly what Timon and Pumba were singing but it's awesome. I can't help but wonder why I got so lucky. This beautiful little three year old in my house. Where did she come from? I don't need a biology lesson. I remember the condom isle at Target decision to have a kid instead of buying another box. I remember calling The Hubs at work to tell him I was pregnant because I was high on happy and couldn't wait for him to come home. I remember the record high heat that summer and the 29 hours of labor including three hours of pushing before the docs said I had to have a c-section because this kid was not coming. Oh wait, I'm focusing on positive here, forget that last part (because I can't).

I remember those first few days of staying with my in-laws who I love but don't want to live with and ending up back in the hospital with postpartum hypertension and not appreciating those first few wonderful weeks. Somehow though, that tiny little creature turned into the little girl begging to play hide and seek.

I do stop and think about her never meeting my parents and that makes me sad. The values that they put into me are now being put into Gibbie and that makes me incredibly happy.

Origin of Free

In the last week I've been exploring my love of writing and the freedom it gives me. While I'm writing I have a brief moment of just being me. For that moment I'm not mama or wifey. I'm only Rue. I love my life of mama and wifey but can we all agree that there are times when you wonder who you were before mama and wifey came along?

It's no wonder that I think of my renewed passion for writing as being free. If you're a nerd like me you might occasionally look into the origin of words. It's interesting to me to discover where words came from and what their original meanings were. How did the word "free" get to free? Praise Google! A two second search led me to find that it has an Indo-European root meaning "to love." It actually shares it's origin with the word "friend." It's funny and awesome how all of those things are running through my head all of the time now. By loving myself more I'm finding that I'm free of my self imposed restrictions on myself and therefore I'm back to being my own friend.

I love words. They make me happy.

Flu Mist, Why Do You Hate Me?

I finally broke down and got the flu shot today. There have been so many stories about people in the area ending up in the hospital and dying from the flu lately so I decided I was being pretty stupid by not getting it. The Hubs got it when it first became available. The Gibbie got it at her 3 year check up in August. I don't like getting it because I always get knocked out for two or three days. Honestly though, two or three days versus a week in the hospital and/or death. I can deal for two or three days.

The awesome Target pharmacist went over the options and I went for the mist even though it has a live virus because it protects against the most strains of flu. Honestly, I'm not as bad as I thought I'd be but I don't feel great either. I came home, napped for over two hours with Gibbie, and started laundry. I think I can even handle making dinner (if I can pry Gibbie off of me long enough).

This has also been a crazy week for my back. After finally getting around to going to a chiropractor I discovered that my spine is twisting to the left and I have whiplash neck. Seriously, who gets whiplash from anything but a car accident? Doc thinks it was from one of my famously graceful falls. So I'm seeing him twice a week now and to help with my neck I get to wear this while I'm lounging around the house:

I'm so sexy.

Happy Monday everyone!

Forgiveness of Self

I forgive you.
Who? Me?
Yes, you.
I didn't apologize for anything.
You don't need to, I forgive you anyway.
I haven't done anything to need your forgiveness.
Oh, but you have. You've silenced yourself and abused your talents.
I have no talents to abuse, I am just me. I do what needs to be done.
You don't do anything but sit and watch. You don't even remember what it's like to participate.
Participate? I do what I need to do.
You don't. Participate in life, share your joy and you love and your happiness.
I'm happy.
Then share it. Rejoin the living. Stop waiting for life. Stop pretending to live. Live.
I'm sorry.
I'm forgiven.
Let go. Let's go.

This is my fight

This is my fight against myself as I try to break from the cage
It's been too long since I've let myself free to fight against this rage

My soul cries out for the last few years it begs to be let out
I don't know if I can let it go or if I'm due for another bout

I used to write because there was a passion to tell my story
I used to write in hopes that one day I might have personal glory

I don't anymore for fear that I'm good or bad or somewhere in between
The fear of success or failure or nothingness is all my hands have seen

Let it be known that it is my right to write whatever I please
If it is good I'll be happy enough but again it will not cease

It's my right to write what I want and if it's bad I'll learn to live
If it's not good I'll be happy enough because maybe I can give

A gift to someone who wants to write and yet doesn't know how
A gift to someone who wants to fight and will not take a bow

I will not bow down to the bad of my past I need to let it free
The girl who was lost yearns to get out, she years for a chance to see

A simple paragraph in a new book I read for a group of women and wine
Has given me the power to start anew, it's given me the hope to shine

A writing prompt has given me permission to write this poem here
I swear to you now, I will not bow, I will not stop, no longer will I fear

If one person reads my story one day and hopes that they can get by
I will have done my deed to the human race, my life will not be a lie