Thursday, September 5, 2013

Thankful Thursday

I'm so angry today that it's hard to be thankful. I'm really trying to calm but I don't know how to just sit and calm myself. I vented to my husband who said that he thought I should have a whiskey, so I did, and it helped, but I'm still angry.

Allow me to vent just a bit and then maybe my head will be cleared enough to list the things I'm thankful for. I called last week to make an appointment for Gibbie's 3 year check up. The lady at the doctor's office said that she had openings the first week of September and we scheduled it for September 5 (today). The Hubs stayed home from work to go with us and the appointment is actually scheduled for the 12th, next Thursday. That would be the second week of September so I am angry though I should just be glad that Gibbie is happy and healthy and there's no concerns that had to be addressed today specifically.

Then I took Gibbie to the park around the corner. I was shocked that I got her to leave without throwing a fit! We then went to check the mail and walked home. We went in front of a house on the opposite side of the street and a teenage girl came running out in a panic with no shoes on acting like she was terrified. She scared Gibbie with her quickness and I just tried to pull Gibbie along and reassured her that the girl wasn't coming for her and kept walking. I kept peeking back and the girl, who had ran to her car and quickly looked through it before slamming the door, was just staring at us. We crossed the street, the girl was still watching us. We got to our house, the girl was still staring at us. At this point I figured she was just waiting for someone and not actually watching us but looking down the street.

We get home, start to relax, the door bell rings. I answered it and there was the teenage girl with a teenage boy with her. He looks at me, then at her, then asks her, "is this her?" What the holy hell? So for a few seconds no one says anything so finally I ask what was going on. The girl says nothing but the boy says that she thinks that I went through her car! WHAT THE HOLY HELL!? At this point it takes every ounce of energy to not hit one of them. Instead I just ask why she thinks I would go through her car and then when she runs out of the house I didn't try to run off or hide but instead casually walk away with my very slow three year old in tow. She didn't know. Then I asked why, if I had taken something from her car, I would just answer the door instead of pretending I wasn't home when her and her friend come to accuse me. She didn't know. I ask her if she really thinks I would take something from a random person's car who lives just a few houses away from mine while I have my kid with me in broad daylight. She didn't know. Finally, I asked her if she felt grown up while crossing her arms and giving us a dirty look and scaring my child as I'm walking home from the park. She didn't freaking know. I'm really trying to tell myself that I'm glad they came and addressed the issue with me instead of doing something ridiculous like call the cops. Both of them apologized for bothering me. The girl says she was just paranoid because she has had her purse stolen from her car before. I just told her to keep her car doors locked and shut the door as they walked away looking less deflated than when they showed up.

Adrenaline is still rushing two hours and one whiskey later. I have a terrible headache but I am glad that at least so far I'm not having an anxiety attack or stuffing my face with food because God knows I'm an emotional mess right now. I am having a hard time being a good person right now so I think I'm going to nap after posting this and hopefully the negative will melt away.

So, let me say that I'm still thankful for things in life even though today is a shit day.

*The Hubs always makes it on this list but anytime I need to vent or I'm in the midst of an anxiety attack he always makes time to talk me down and let me say what I need to say or cry into the phone when I can't seem to get any words out. If he can't talk he calls me as soon as he has a few minutes to give me all of his attention. I know that men are wired to fix things but he has learned that when I talk to him about a problem it's not because I need him to fix it for me but because I need him to listen. I think he still thinks he should fix it but he doesn't usually act on it.

*Lonely grocery trips. I used to feel lonely when grocery shopping alone. Now I think of it as a relaxing hour long vacation. Usually I stop at Starbucks on the way to Albertson's and leisurely go isle by isle checking everything out. I tend to remember absolutely everything on my list when I'm alone (and then some).

*Yoplait Greek Yogurt only being 100 calories. Silly, I know, but I really love Greek yogurt and with Weight Watchers I thought I'd never be able to have it again without using a huge chunk of points on one snack. Yay for 2 points snacks!

*Days of Our Lives which makes me realize that everything that happened this morning is nothing in comparison for facing prison for killing a man who was about to kill your ex husband because your fiance's father hired him to do it because the ex husband is sleeping with your future father-in-law's ex wife. Oh yeah!

Here's a picture of Gibbie at the park to even out the negativity:

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