Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Tuesday Topics - Momcations

This post was thought up about three weeks ago. I told The Hubs that I was just so tired and wanted just one day to sleep in. He told me to go for it! So, I laid in bed and in came the Gibbie. I put her in bed with us and she tossed and turned and grumbled and whispered and knocked on my face and I was wide awake. The next morning I thought I'd out smart her. My alarm went off at 6am. Instead of going for a walk I grabbed a blanket and went to the couch. About 30 minutes later I hear, "Good morning, mama!" WHY?! Why did she come into the living room? Why didn't she just go straight to The Hubs and demanded to be put in bed with him (like she does when I do go walking).

My first thought was, "I just need a weekend alone, in a hotel room, with a book, some whiskey/wine/beer/whatever, and pizza." Could I do that? I mean, if the circumstances were perfect (I could afford it, I had nothing to do, The Hubs had nothing to do, there were no obligations) I doubt that The Hubs would have a problem with it. But could I do that?

Back in April I went to Las Vegas with my two sisters. Though it was a lot of fun, it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. It was the first time I had spent more than eight hours away from Gibbie. It was only two nights (three bedtimes because my flight was so late Sunday night) and two full days away. When she and The Hubs dropped me off at the airport she was extremely mad that I was leaving. The night I got back I woke her up to tell her I was home and she gave me a huge hug and promptly fell back asleep.

I think the hardest thing to explain to someone is that I love my child so incredibly much and I don't want to spend time away from her but I think I need to from time to time. I'm blessed with an incredible husband that has never denied me some time to go out but I always go out with a friend or family. I never go out by myself.

So, the question was asked on Facebook and Tumblr again. Moms, would you feel guilty about going on a "momcation" with no kids, just all by yourself. Dads, how would you feel about being left alone with the kids for two days just because mom needed to get away? Of course if you're a stay at home dad please switch the scenarios. If you're a single parent, I'm not trying to leave you out, I am only working with the experience I have.

Most of the moms who answered were all for it! One even gave me the cost of leaving on a plane to Vegas tonight if I was interested! One mom said no, she just couldn't do it. Leaving all three kids, even though she knew her husband was completely capable, was just not going to happen at this point. She did say, however, that maybe it was just because they were so young though. One dad said maybe if the scenario was perfect (no one had to work, you can afford it, nothing coming up, etc) then it's perfectly fine but it has to be OK the other way around too (if the husband wants to go away). Makes sense to me.

To be honest, I think that's one of the reasons why I can't bring myself to do it. I would be sad if The Hubs went and stayed at a hotel by himself all weekend. I'm still considering going to the MOPS Convention this year but I'll be in conferences most of the time so it still wouldn't necessarily be the down time I'm dreaming of.

My favorite comment I got about the subject was that we, as moms, need to remember who we are as individuals. Forgetting can lead to resentment towards your spouse or child and loss of respect from your husband. Genius! Sometimes I do have to remind myself that I am Rue. Rue includes being mom but it also means a whole lot more.

What do you think? Could you take a weekend to just be by yourself?

Here's some links about it:
This mom did it right!
Another awesome one!
Don't have time or money for a momcation? Here's some inexpensive quick getaways you can do anytime!

Finally, here's an adorable picture to brighten your day:

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